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The Manager's Guide to Difficult Conversations1h 3m
The Manager's Guide to Difficult Conversations
By: Marlene Chism
Articles by Marlene
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Marlene Chism posted thisThe Organization Learns to Work Around its Leaders Employees are remarkably adaptive. If challenging a leader brings retaliation, they stop challenging. If a leader’s agreement is likely to be reversed, they stop relying on it. If decisions are made through pressure rather than process, they learn to lobby privately. If behavioral standards apply only to people without power, they stop believing the standards matter. The organization will always adapt to the behavior its leaders repeatedly demonstrate. The question is whether those adaptations support execution or quietly undermine it. #OrganizationalCulture #EmployeeEngagement #ExecutiveLeadership #WorkplaceTrust
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Marlene Chism shared thisI’m pleased to share that I’m now represented by A-Speakers! The heart of my work is helping leaders address conflict, strengthen accountability, and fix the conversations that quietly undermine execution. As a professional speaker, I love to bring practical tools, candid stories, and a little humor to my association or corporate events, whether it's a keynote, breakout of half day. At the same time, I'm happy to show up without a plan and "meet you where you are" with a live unscripted facilitation, followed with a post session briefing. Leadership is serious work, but learning doesn’t have to be joyless.If you’re planning a leadership conference, association event, or company retreat, explore my speaking topics here:https://lnkd.in/gZFhA9tf I’d love to be part of the conversation.
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Marlene Chism shared thisNot every stalled conversation has the same problem. “I don’t know where to start” signals a lack of orientation. “I already know what they’ll say” reveals anticipation. “We’ve talked, but nothing changed” points to missing accountability. The words tell you where the breakdown is. Listen before you prescribe. #accountability #DifficultConversations #Leadership
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Marlene Chism shared thisTL;DR: Executive misalignment often hides behind polite agreement. When reality complicates a decision, leaders need to speak up and work through what execution requires; clarity often comes through that conversation. #ExecutiveMisalignment #Conflict #Conversations
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Marlene Chism shared thisMulti-Tasking Mark was always busy. His phone was busier. He thought he was good at multi-tasking, but he was really just easily distracted. Mark the multi-tasker was in the room, but not in the conversation. 🫘 SPILLED BEAN Presence is a gift; distraction is a message. 💡 EXECUTIVE INSIGHT When leaders are physically present but mentally elsewhere, trust erodes, conversations suffer, and people feel invisible. Put the phone down. Be where your people are. 👋 I'm Marlene Chism. I help leaders fix the conversations that undermine execution. My work helps leaders close the gap between what they intend, what they say, what people hear, and what actually happens. #leadership #MultiTasking #Conversation #presence
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Marlene Chism shared thisAgreement doesn’t always mean alignment. People can nod in the meeting and still leave with completely different expectations. Agreement sounds good. Alignment creates movement. Where does misalignment show up most often in your work? #SpillingTheBeans #LeadershipClarity #Communication #TeamAlignment #WorkplaceTruths
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Marlene Chism posted thisThe Dance of Drama One leader pushes because the other leader is unreliable. The other leader appeases because the first leader is aggressive. Each person can clearly explain why the other one must change. Neither can see how their own response keeps the pattern alive. This is the dance of drama: “Because you do that, I have to do this.” But another person’s behavior may explain your reaction. It does not absolve you of responsibility for it. The dance changes when just one person stops using the other person’s behavior as permission to abandon their own standards. #PersonalResponsibility #ConflictResolution #LeadershipDevelopment #SelfAwareness
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Marlene Chism shared thisPeople protect territory when there's a lack of trust. Stephen Covey said it with his book The Speed of Trust. Here we are decades later, and trust in institutions and leadership remains near historic lows. (Easy to find the research if you're interested: Gallup; Pew Research Center; Edelman Trust Baramoter.) Here's the question to consider: How is our current world situation creating a trust deficit?
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Marlene Chism shared thisEvery big problem in an organization traces back to a conversation that should have happened but didn’t. If you’re ready to handle those conversations with more clarity, join me September 23 for The Architecture of Difficult Conversations. Link is first comment.
Marlene Chism commented on a post
6h
So glad you got value!
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Richard Koch good point! We aren't saying anything that hasn't been said before. Nothing profound or even eye opening. I'm relatively sure that anyone who needs to hear it isn't here reading it. 😅
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Marlene Chism liked thisMarlene Chism liked thisSometimes you can’t stop replaying a negative experience…even hours, days or weeks later. I’m always amazed by people who seem to let things roll right off of them. I’ve had to work at that over the years. And I see plenty of leaders working at it too. So in my latest CEO on the Go episode (Letting Go: How to Stop Replaying What Went Wrong), I’m sharing 8 ways to help you let go when you need to. One of the most important is to create your own closure when no one else will give it to you. Too many people are waiting for an apology, an explanation, validation or someone to finally say, “You were right.” Often moving forward requires doing the inner work yourself. The goal isn’t to never get bothered by anything. That’s not realistic. Just get better at shortening your recovery time. I hope the episode helps you release whatever you might be holding onto that needs to go.🎈 #leadership #lettinggo #resilience #executivecoaching #CEOontheGoPodcast
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Marlene Chism liked thisMarlene Chism liked thisJust finished "The Manager's Guide to Difficult Conversations" by Marlene Chism! Check it out: https://lnkd.in/d2EpWRCw #interpersonalcommunication, #peoplemanagement.
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Marlene Chism liked thisMarlene Chism liked thisOkay, we’re doing this! 🧡 I made a commitment to have 100 convos about joy in 2026. So I’m kicking off It Starts With Joy: Rough Cuts to help me get there. These are 30-minute live conversations with light production, a few questions, and room to see where we go. We’ll talk about what helps us feel like ourselves when life is hard, the people who taught us how to live well, and what’s lighting us up right now. There may also be a surprise question or two. 😂 We’re starting Thursday, October 1, with three guests: 12 PM ET: Ingrid Tomlinson, photographer, advocate for women and girls, and part of the TEDx Southlake curation team. 1 PM ET: Kevin Judge, founder and CEO of iNOBL and author of The SMB Playbook. 2 PM ET: Jennifer Romanowicz, DPT, MBA, PCC , founder of Fancy Pants Method and an executive and team coach. You may also know her as Dr. Fancy Pants! Ingrid, Kevin, and Jen, thank you for saying yes and helping me kick this off. I’m excited to spend time with each of you. Come join us for one conversation or all three. You can watch LIVE on my YouTube channel, It Starts With Joy LIVE (@itstartswithjoylive), or on Facebook. Or catch the replay! 🧡🙌🏽
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Marlene Chism liked thisMarlene Chism liked thisOzarks Coca-Cola/Dr Pepper Bottling Company is proud to congratulate Sally Hargis, vice president/chairman, on her induction into Springfield Public Schools’ Hall of Fame Class of 2026. Sally’s unwavering commitment to serving others, investing in our communities, and leading with purpose makes this honor especially meaningful. Her passion for helping people succeed and her dedication to making the Ozarks a better place continue to inspire everyone who has the privilege of working alongside her. https://lnkd.in/g-XhsUeu
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Marlene Chism liked thisMarlene Chism liked thisA huge thank you to Greene County, Missouri Presiding Commissioner Bob Dixon for highlighting the Centerstone Youth Resiliency Campus during this morning's State of Greene County Address. We're grateful for the County Commission's commitment to prevention programs for young people in our community. Thank you Bob, John Russell, and Rusty MacLachlan for your continued partnership.
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Marlene Chism liked thisMarlene Chism liked thisI've experienced several major technology shifts during my career in marketing. Lived through the dot-com bubble. Was an early adopter of social media. Became the first social media manager at Hewlett Packard Enterprise, working very closely with Google and YouTube to navigate the new frontier of "UGC" (bonus points if you know what it means). I also worked on the original Droid mobile launch for Verizon during the rise of the smartphone. So naturally, I find myself looking backward as I try to make sense of AI. There are parallels. And then there is the sheer scale of the disruption. The earlier waves sometimes felt like hurricanes. AI can feel more like what I jokingly called a “tsunami of tsunamis” in a recent conversation. That creates a very understandable tension. On one end are the people pushing to move faster. They want to experiment, innovate and get to the opportunity as quickly as possible. On the other are people asking us to slow down. Put governance in place. Understand the risks. Think through the consequences. My own perspective probably moves back and forth more than some people would expect. I love innovation. I'm genuinely excited about the possibilities of AI. I've seen firsthand how it can change content creation, speed up parts of the creative process and help us tell stories in ways that were previously difficult to execute. But I also believe the questions surrounding responsible use must be taken seriously. What my experience with earlier technology shifts has taught me is that the rules aren't written all at once. We're still figuring things out. That doesn't mean standing still. And it doesn't mean racing ahead without looking around us. It means learning to live with some productive tension. The innovators matter because they keep us moving. The cautious voices matter because they force us to ask whether we're moving responsibly. We need both. Perhaps that's the lesson I've carried forward from all those previous waves of change: Don't mistake tension for dysfunction. Sometimes it's how we find the better path forward. Chris Valle Jeben Berg Daina Middleton Lesley Slaton Brown Robyn Orr Jacari Witchard Mani Young Tara Greene Rachel Ooms Photo: Social media trailblazers, Sundance 2008
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Marlene Chism liked thisMarlene Chism liked thisYour brain has been running and ruminating since Janice said she's not finsihed with the report and the school called about a missing persmission slip. And your brain will keep doing that until your body gets involved. Moving your body after a hard moment isn't a hack. It's how your body actually completes the stress cycle. The replay doesn't close itself. The movement does. Small. Specific. Doable. What do you do to actually move through the hard moments instead of just continuing the replay? 👇
Experience & Education
Publications
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Six Problems Leaders Misdiagnose as Conflict
SmartBrief
See publicationIt takes courage to resolve a conflict, but leaders must correctly diagnose the problem before implementing a solution.
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From Conflict to Courage: How to Stop Avoiding and Start Leading
Berrett-Koehler
See publicationConflict is not the problem, mismanagement is. Discover how leaders unintentionally mismanage conflict, and practical ways to stop avoiding and start leading. Learn how to increase conflict capacity, build a leadership identity, and overcome resistance when working with high-conflict people.
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Promote Cultures Where Conversation Empowers Performance
Culture University
See publicationWorkplace culture is shaped from the top down. One of the costliest mistakes to organizations is the inability or unwillingness of its leaders to successfully facilitate difficult conversations. The difficulty may lie in the manager’s skill level. He or she simply doesn’t know how to coach an employee on a performance issue. Or a leader may be embarrassed to talk with an employee about careless social skills. Or the difficulty may be a more complex cultural issue that goes unseen until the…
Workplace culture is shaped from the top down. One of the costliest mistakes to organizations is the inability or unwillingness of its leaders to successfully facilitate difficult conversations. The difficulty may lie in the manager’s skill level. He or she simply doesn’t know how to coach an employee on a performance issue. Or a leader may be embarrassed to talk with an employee about careless social skills. Or the difficulty may be a more complex cultural issue that goes unseen until the problem becomes national news.
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How Lack of Clarity Leads to Workplace Drama
Management Issues
See publicationWhen employees are unclear about policies and procedures, when there are too many dropped balls or hidden agendas, or there is confusion about who is leading, drama is sure to follow.
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How Managers can Increase Trust and Reduce Workplace Drama
The Glasshammer
See publicationYour staff sits at your meeting with arms crossed and mouths closed. You have invited engagement, but you get nothing. You can’t put your finger on it, but you perceive some negativity. Maybe it’s resentment. Maybe it’s just a manifestation of the “us versus them” mentality. Or maybe, it’s a lack of trust. This article offers four trustbusters and the four antidotes.
Honors & Awards
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Top 10 Books on Learning Impact
GetAbstract
From Conflict to Courage was long-listed as one of the top ten books in the international category of Learning Impact.
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Best Business Book in 2015
Sound View
Sound View awarded No-Drama Leadership as one of the best business books in 2015.
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Best Business Book of 2011
Sound View
Sound View awarded Stop Workplace Drama as one of the top 30 business books in 2011.
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From Conflict to Courage
GetAbstract
From Conflict to Courage was long listed as one of the best books in 2022 in the international category of Learning Impact.
Languages
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English
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German
Elementary proficiency
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